18-year-old refuses to play older brother to his soon-to-be stepsiblings, their grandmother gets involved to pressure him into a relationship: “[She] texted me again and I quickly blocked her”

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    AITA for not being more involved in my mom's new family and not taking on a role as an older brother?

    "I don't have a whole lot to do with the kids"
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    I (18m) live with my paternal grandparents and I'm in college. I live 25 minutes from my mom so not we're not too far from each other. During the week I'm in school and on the weekends I work. I make sure to take a couple of hours to meet mom for a late lunch or a coffee or something. But that's not what this is about.
  • 03
    My dad when I was 7 and it was me and mom until I moved out. A few months before I moved out she had started dating a guy called Brad. I met him, I met his kids and they were fine. They moved in about three months ago and now my mom and Brad are engaged. Brad's parents moved to live close to their son and
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    COLLEGE
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    grandkids so they're a few houses away from my mom and I met them twice.
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    I don't have a whole lot to do with Brad or his kids. I have been asked to babysit a few times and I always said no because I had other plans. My mom seemed okay with that. Though she has mentioned a few times that she'd love for me to spend more time with them and stuff. I do see them occasionally but nowhere near as much as I see my mom.
  • 07
    My mom's birthday was the other weekend and she had a small party at her house to celebrate. I was there and I interacted with everyone just fine. But my focus was on mom.
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    During the party she and Brad left the house for a few to pick up her gift. Brad's dad was with the kids and his mom approached me. She told me the kids had been looking forward to spending time with me and instead I was interacting with others more and focused only on mom. This was the second time I met this woman. She told me Brad
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    had hoped he'd get to spend some time with me as well. She said it looked like I was only interesting in maintaining a relationship with mom and not on building my family. I asked her what business it was of hers and she told me her family are the ones involved. She said my grandparents had set a bad precedent by not claiming
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    Brad's kids as honorary grandkids and embracing the fact mom had moved on from dad. This woman told me I should be doing more though. That if I love my mom I will love her family and accept them into my family.
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    I moved away from her so there wouldn't be a fight or anything and once mom and Brad were back she didn't try to approach me again.
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    I didn't say anything to mom and we went for lunch the week after. But after our lunch Brad's mom texted me (she got my number from my mom or Brad) and she scolded me or whatever you'd call it, for meeting with mom for time but not organizing something for us all to do and spending the time I spend with her with mom's family.
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    She said it could be as easy as going to mom's house and being a part of the family and being the big brother to the kids.
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    FAMILY
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    I told my mom about the stuff Brad's mom had said. Brad came in as we were talking and he said he'd speak to them but that he would love if I was more involved. He said he'd love to be a father figure to me and to have a kid as good as me have some kind of sibling-type relationship with his kids. He said not to babysit but even to hang out
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    so they can say they have an older brother. My mom said she was sorry about the stuff Brad's mom had done and she asked me how I felt about maybe being a big brother. I told her I'd see what happens with Brad and his kids but I wasn't planning to sign up for being an older brother. I told her they'd probably seem more like cousins to me.
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    She was upset. Then Brad's mom texted again (and I quickly blocked her). She asked why I had to go to her son like that when she was trying to talk some sense into me and help her family. AITA?
  • 18
    • QueenBooj 21h ago NTA - You're not obligated to take on an older brother role or force a relationship. Maintaining boundaries while still supporting your mom is completely reasonable.
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    grayblue_grrl • 20h ago Can you imagine being Brad and finding out his mommy is still "fighting his battles" in secret, picking on teenagers behind her kid's back.
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    She's a winner. Your purpose in life is not to fulfill anyone else's expectations. ΝΤΑ
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    Head-Connection-... • 21h ago NTA. Brad's mother was incredibly disrespectful and overstepping. She has no right to dictate your relationship with your mother. or your role in their family.
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    AmyEla •21h ago NTA. Brad's mom out here acting like you signed up for some "Big Brother of the Year" program without knowing it. Like, ma'am, you've met me twice why are you writing my life script? You already have a packed schedule with school,
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    work, and making time for your mom. You're not required to suddenly adopt a new role just because your mom's life changed.
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    Brad seems chill, but his mom needs to chill. Relationships take time, and it's not like you've been ride or cut them off you're just keeping things natural. Don't let anyone guilt-trip you into doing more than you're comfortable with.
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    You're maintaining your relationship with your mom, and that's what matters most right now. Blocked for a reason.

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